Forty and Fearless

I always imagined that by 40, I’d be married. But life unfolded differently than I expected. Instead of a wedding, that year marked a career shift—and on my birthday itself, I found myself graduating from a 10-month leadership program at Victory BGC. No husband was waiting at the end of that chapter, but something just as meaningful filled the room: my mom and my closest friends, standing beside me, celebrating who I’ve become and the journey I’m still on.

As the Lord says:

Isaiah 55:9-9 “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.
    “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.
For just as the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so my ways are higher than your ways
    and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.

Forty is just a number—another milestone in a long line of years. What truly defines this season of my life is not age, but transformation. I am learning what it means to become like Esther: to stand with courage when it is required most.

My life is far from perfect. There are still battles I quietly face—struggles that can only be overcome by the grace of God. And yet, I’ve come to realize this: numbers don’t change you—seasons do. Seasons stretch you, shape you, and invite you to take the next step in obedience to God’s calling.

Right now, I find myself in a season of testing—of faith being refined. There are moments when every part of me feels the weight of uncertainty, when decisions must be made with wisdom and trust.

And yet, even here, grace finds its way in the most unexpected forms.

Last March, I felt led to join the GO Conference under Every Nation and Victory Church. The day I decided to register was the last day of registration. A week later, it reopened—but I ran into an error and chose to set it aside for a while. Then, in the middle of a drive, a friend called, “Kat, did you register? Don’t na—I have an extra ticket for you.” I was in awe. That simple act of generosity meant so much—and it even turned out to be an SVIP ticket, another unexpected surprise. On the day of the conference, I reconnected with old friends and met new ones and, more importantly, found myself exactly where my soul needed to be. It was also the same week of the BTS free concert in Seoul, which I didn’t win—and I thank the Lord for that. Because in that moment, I realized what I truly needed was HIS presence more than anything else.

And in the same way, today brought another quiet surprise. I got a BTS ticket out of the 70K people who lined up today. It wasn’t planned, not even part of my budget, and it still hasn’t fully sunk in. Yet in that small moment, I was gently reminded once again of His provision, His favor, and His presence.

Oh dear Lord Jesus, thank You.

Despite the world’s chaos, our personal miracles remind us how BIG our God is. Rest assured, He will make things right in His time.